Standing strong, loving the peaceful walks without traffic and seeing families out walking together. Staying in touch with my oldies and taking time to have mornings to just appreciate the change of seasons. Watching out for teddies in the windows and it’s fun to see just how many there are. If we take this time to sift through the confusion and reaction to find the path to appreciation for what is truely important when busy is gone then this will be a time we will look back on as something that changed our perspective and priorities, hopefully in a meaningful way. Right now with no carers coming I am loving pushing wake up time a just little later everyday 😁😎
I have always felt that the answers for what we see before us now are not with the solutions we have always looked to but with some leaps of faith will take to take us to a new normal.. this is from my inspirational niece who is an amazing author and thought leader………Imagine if on the other side of this we find ourselves in a world that is utterly changed. The virus was the end of the world as we knew it, but it was not the end of us. We had been asking, begging, protesting in the streets for governments to act. We prayed for disruption to the normal endless cycle of greed and capital and consumption. It came, and it was brutal, but it taught us that we didn’t need all the things they sold us. Losing the ability to touch and be with each other reminded us of what really mattered and we let it change us. As we look back on that time, we feel grief for all that we lost – a way of life that can never be again. But there is also gratitude. Our children have fresh air to breathe. Our planet is healing. We are learning to live with compassion and heal our own hearts. Fear no longer rules our world. We stand powerfully in our commitment to love and kindness because we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that these two things are essential to our survival.
Woke up this morning in Lakes DHB medical ward after a long day in ED. Talking to the nurses and baby docs about how they are managing gives a whole new perspective on the impact of this virus. We all know we can manage and we will, but to be on the front line and put yourself at risk takes courage and a much wider view than just taking care of our own. This is about taking care of our community and not allowing this “Social distancing” to sever the social bonds that make us a community. I am fine but I got a shake up and now it’s my responsibility to see how I can make a difference. I have started by checking in on my oldies to make sure they can get groceries and are feeling safe – little things are big things and everything matters.
Sometimes you stop and realise just how small your world has become. Spending this time with Barney has given many insights which I am grateful for and then sometimes its just total exhaustion from 24/7 care, broken sleeps and hot humid days. He is slowly losing and more of his memory and becoming too frail to do his walks the way he did before. But the problem with losing memory is that he cant be left alone at all as he forgets any instructions and forgets that he is not able to do things he remembers being able to do, like climb a ladder to get something out of a top cupboard. My life seems to have evolved to be just support for him and I am beginning to feel burned out and all I want to do is sleep for a week… or three. Thank goodness for my morning coffee escape and the wee balm business that at least gets me talking to people with real lives and the feeling that at least I am doing something useful. The hospice nurses and carers have become my social life and I am so lucky they are such delightful characters. I constantly plan to do so much and the bigger the plans the more likely the unexpected will completely demolish them – some sort of inverse relationship I have never been able to figure out.
Christmas and New Year came and went in a haze of medical emergencies and its like waking up and suddenly its March. We are going to take a trip to Whangarei at the end of March for Barneys 98th to see his family and I am looking forward to the change of scenery and the chance to get my old real camera out again and find some new ways to look as what’s around me. It’s so easy to slip into always being on alert always looking for what’s wrong and forgetting to spend time focussing on what is wonderful. Music helps and special songs bring memories close and clear keeping me smiling and inextricably linked to happier times when possibilities felt unlimited.
Perfect timing on Waitangi Day at Ohinemutu Ohinemutu – you may not be able to tell but yes that hair is unicorn tail pink in keeping with my perspective on life
It just takes the heart in your coffee to turn your mind to the ones you love, some so far away and some just not here when you need a hug. It’s like getting a coffee hug and a nod from the universe that they are thinking of you too..
It’s funny I spend all night trying to get to sleep between interruptions then all day trying to stay awake.. something wrong with this picture. Thank goodness for my morning coffee, it doesn’t actually help but it makes me feel like I have stopped to take a breath and just for a moment I can put down the weight on my shoulders and believe, at some point my path will change. So long as I don’t watch the news I can play with the thought that things will just get better and better.
Just a quick photo at the Dr Surgery, it’s still 24/7 with little sleep but slowly Mr B is improving and getting back to a new normal. Life is so fragile and so tenacious. Now I just need to get me sorted out. That’s next … I hope.
Well the hurry up and wait became surgery and now long hours at the hospital have turned into 24/7 nursing care and sleep deprivation. It’s almost Christmas but I am postponing it till I wake up. So for all my friends and family who haven’t heard from me I will pop up again soon and I hope it’s because all is well and a medical miracle but it might not be.
I took this photo at the garden Center before this last hospital visit. I would love to grow water lilies, they have a magical contemplation quality about them, but I want the great big pond and seat to go with.
It’s been a bit of a tough time these last few weeks with lots of medical, ED visits and hurry up and wait. We are facing big choices that are choosing between a rock and and a hard place and all I really want is a third option. But sitting on rock hard plastic chairs for hours brings time to play with filters and so far this is the best I think I have ever managed
The Traveling Kiwi 